Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
A Special Package for Business Men.
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
Husband was seriously ill
Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
Cool message by a wife
Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
Sweet demand by kid
A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
Throwing knives on wife's picture
Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture. All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"
Habit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
Part & Art of living
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
Head & Neck of the family
It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. ( I like it the most!!!)
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
I look at your picture and the problem disappears
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
Wife: honey what r u looking 4?
Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
Husband: nothing
Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?
Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date
Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Every time!
WIFE says: No darling, it means:
With Idiot For Ever
Wife wish 2 be a newspaper
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day.
Husband, wife & spare Tyre
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further
Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....
Similarity between chewing gum & begum
What's the similarity between chewing gum & begum (wife) ??
Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the end..
Too late for garbage
Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.
What if you don't see me for 2 days?
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldnt believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didnt see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.
Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?
Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!" Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!" (superb one)
Why women starts with W
You know why women starts with 'W'...
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife, NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"
Recently fired stock trader
A recently fired stock trader said ...
"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my wife..."
Message of the year
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Husband to a newly wed wife
Husband: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Wife: Thanks, but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.
Why did u shoot your wife?
Judge: why did u shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
Your husband needs rest
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!
