Santa: Do you know about this fax-machine?
Banta: What's wrong?
Santa: I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, but..
Banta: How did you load the sheet?
Santa: I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it.
Thursday 17 May 2012
Santa Went for Hunt
Once Santa went for hunting with one of his foreign friends, Suddenly they saw one tiger comming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down.
Friend told Santa “Just to pass Time Why don't you sing some Indian songs"
Santa started to sing. After singing four songs Santa hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs.
After singing all the songs, Santa came back to his original position.
Friend asked curiosly " Santa, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?"
Santa told " First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B"
Friend told Santa “Just to pass Time Why don't you sing some Indian songs"
Santa started to sing. After singing four songs Santa hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs.
After singing all the songs, Santa came back to his original position.
Friend asked curiosly " Santa, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?"
Santa told " First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B"
Honour of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
==============================
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
==============================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
==============================
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
==============================
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
==============================
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
==============================
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
==============================
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
==============================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
==============================
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
==============================
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
==============================
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
==============================
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
==============================
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
==============================
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
==============================
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
==============================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
==============================
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
==============================
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
==============================
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
==============================
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
==============================
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
==============================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
==============================
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
==============================
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
==============================
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
==============================
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
==============================
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
==============================
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...
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